TOMGIRL self portraits + an honest essay i would never hand-in

i have to write an essay for skool. i have to do it, but i don't want to. the longer i wait, the closer i am to the deadline, and the more my stomach hurts because of the stress. i have to write about fashion - what? yeah, i go to london college of fashion.

if you go to london college of fashion, you have to act all the time as if you were obsessed with fashion. or act as if you couldn't care less. yep. that also makes you cool. the last trend is to show others how you don't give a fuck about fashion while standing in your prada shoes. sometimes i wish i were like that. not joking here.

i guess i am not cool at all, 'cause i don't hate fashion, i kind of like it, but i am not as passionate about it as everybody is in skool. i like beautiful things, i like interesting looking things. i like a well-designed book cover. i enjoy music. i enjoy being sat surrounded by beautiful furniture. in architecture, i like spaces disposed in a way that transmits something to you. regarding fashion, i like dresses designed by additional reason than just covering yourself. but more than nothing, i like beautiful people, i love clothes as far as this helps people look beautiful. some people look great naked, others need clothes 'cause they just look disgusting without it. 'but fashion is not only about clothes' that's what my tutor would have answered if i had told him what i really think about all this boring stuff. i would have replied 'i know, teacher, i guess fashion is all about selling yourself through an image, as if you were selling meat at the local market. and other people becoming rich because of the clothes ordinary people like me buy'

but i never had this conversation with my tutor. nor with my classmates. cause i want to be accepted at skool, i want to be accepted by society, and i want to be accepted as everybody wants to be accepted. so i ended up consuming and showing fashion, so that i were more like the others. and now, i wonder if it was in my nature to like fashion, or i just like it cause the others made me like it. now i can say i have a taste, i have an opinion about fashion. i followed paris fashion week, yeah. i watched the last dior show from my computer, live. i wish i had one of those new givenchy jumpers. jil sanders last season of dresses were fucking boring, but i would wear them if i had them in my closet. i covered london fashion week again - everybody knows that's not cool, everybody knows london is not paris. but still, all these people who know london is not cool, fight to be seated in the front row at london fashion week. it is part of the campaign of selling your own style. there's nothing wrong about it. and i guess somehow i take my part on it when taking pictures of these people wanting to be the first ones sitting on the show.

after reading this short statements, my most intellectual friends would say that i should stop reading fashion press and go back to what they call (also do i, sometimes) 'real books'. my friends into fashion, would ask me (if they weren't so polite) to keep taking pictures and shut up. but what would I say? i guess i have nothing else to say concerning fashion.

last term was boring, and we didn't learn that much, or enjoy it. even if the teachers talked a lot about fashion and we are very into fashion, or we want to be into fashion, or want to look like if we were into fashion. i personally learnt nothing, but i did progress on my skill of acting as if i were listening to the others while they talk -sorry, teachers, for being this rude, but it's the truth.

so while my teacher was talking about something, i never got to hear because i was too busy thinking about beautiful naked people and he couldn't stop from talking about clothes, he looked at me and asked me what i was going to write about, and the first thing that came to my mind was 'tomboy style' cause the naked person i was thinking about in that moment, also looks good in her tomboy style.

as a result, today i have to write about the tomboy culture which i know nothing about.

and i wish i lived in a world where the truth was a valid excuse and i could hand-in these self portraits i took while i should have been writing, and this text under the header 'ALL I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT FASHION AND TOMBOY CULTURE'.